Day 310 The Sad Side of learning

It was around 530pm in the afternoon and I was on call in the telemetry unit. I had just finished doing an admission when there was a code blue alarm called. "CODE BLUE CCU.... CODE BLUE CCU.." I dropped everything I was doing and ran to the unit. I arrive in about 1 minute and found that there was a patient intubated whose heart rate was in the 190's. When I walked into the room there were 2 seniors (a second and third year.) As I walked into the room,the second year turned to me and said "there is a pulse and she is breathing." There were a group of nurses with the crash cart and respiratory techs standing by. In about another minute or so, the other intern arrived at the room. The other senior turned to us and said "you guys can leave, there is no code blue." The other intern left the room to go back to the e.r. I decided that I wanted to stay to see what they were going to do. I had a page to my beeper and I left to room eager to go back to see how they would handle the situation. As I was on the phone answer a routine call from the floors, I turned to the other intern who was stepping out and said "look at the monitor. She is at 190. You should stick around. When we are seniors, we are going to have to deal with situations like this."

As we were about to start heading back the the unit room, I suddenly hear a group of people clapping or cheering. It seem to be coming from the room where the code blue had been called. I went back to the room to see what was going on, and I see the heart rate at 86. It seems that they had given adenosine 6mg IV x1 and the rate had taken a dramatic dropped. The nurses were so excited and other techs, that they were cheering and clapping about the sudden drop in HR. I felt it was a bit strange. I've never seen people clapping in the middle of a code or a possible code. Over the next 2 minutes her HR when up again. She has a narrow irregular rate Tachycardia. SHe was not in V Tach or V Fib. They gave another adenosine 6mg IVx1 and it broke again. The crowd in the room was less jovial but were a bit relieved that it had gone down. I think the next step was giving adenosine 12mg IVx1 or if she went into V FiB or V tach possible shock?

Anyways, as I walked back to the E.R I thought about what had just happened. I was also excited to have seen what had just happened. I told the intern, "see how much you can learn from these situations. You will rarely forget them. " But the more I thought about it, the more I became a bit sad at what happened. Or at least that fact that some medicine you learn -which is exciting- comes by way of someone else 's misery or misfortune.

I'm not sure if you have been in the middle of a code where people are clapping and cheering with excitement, but it seemed a bit odd.

There is joy in helping people. There is joy in learning something that can better the lives of those around you. There is a sense of deep great emotional fulfillment in medically helping someone that is suffering from diseases. There is a deep joy in giving hope to those that are hopeless, and bringing some light to the darkness of someones life.

Today I went to see a patient in the surgical trauma unit that had a R MCA Stenosis and R internal Carotid occlusion. He is schedule tomorrow possibly for a stenting by the neurosurgeon. As I spoke to him today morning, he seemed a bit nervous. He is a very analytical person. He is an accountant and even writes down and takes note when we do rounds on him. He has 20 questions each time, and is a very well informed individual. We spoke about quitting smoking and possible what was going to happen. As I was about to leave, I had the feeling that I had to say what I was about to tell him. I said " you know MR. Smith. Sometimes certain situations happen in our lives that make us take a step back and make us question what is really important in life. This situation that you are going through might make you look at your life in a different way. You might start to appreciate and realize what is really important in life. Your family your friends. But also you need to remember one thing. Right now you are surrounded by people that care and love you very much. But no one. No one can possible understand fully what you are going through. No one can see your mind and heart. It would have to take someone that is all powerful and knowing to do that. And I believe that someone is God. He is here with you in the darkness moments of your life. He can give you the strength and peace in life to deal with the situation you are going through. He will not abandon you. He is here with you. I don't know how much of a spiritual person you are, but I felt that I had to tell you this. I can sum up my entire life and spiritual walk with one story I heard a long time ago. There was a man in a prison and he was taken to the bathroom by the guard. He grabbed him and threw him down on the toilet and said "clean the toilet with your hands." As the prisoner stood there humiliated and cleaning the toilet with his bare hands, the soldier turned to him and said "where is your GOD?.... Where is your God?" The prisoner looked up to him and said "He is here with me." Sometimes life seems unfair, and it is. Life hurts and you don't understand what you are going through but always remember that God is with you. He will not abandon you. How many times people tell you "where is your GOD?" or How can this happen to you? When you are asked this remember to tell them that God is with you. He will walk with you in these difficult times." I almost had tears in my eyes. And he stared at me. His eyes were wide open. He was very quiet. I turned to him and said "I just that you had to hear that." He turned to me and said "thank you very much for that. I hope that you can come by tomorrow. I turned to him and said "sure.I will see you tomorrow. Good luck tomorrow." I shook is hand and left the room.

I can't describe to you completely how I felt. I felt this deep spiritual strength and satisfaction. It was like an spiritual high. I felt that I had to say those things. He seemed scared and I wanted to give him a bit of hope and a bit of peace. I pray to God that he will have some tomorrow when he undergoes the operation.

I too hope that you have found strength from the difficulties you are facing now in your life. IN your struggle to match and and your struggle to keep going. Keep your head up. God is with you. He will not abandon you. Jesus Loves you very much. Don't give up lean on God for strength. He knows the desire of your heart. Talk and pray to him as you would a friend. He will not forsake you.

God Bless

Dr.Mike

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