Thank You God For Residency: Day 304 Sixteen Memorable moments of My First year in Residency

Here they are, 16 of them :

16. It happened on my third day of residency. I was called by the nurse to see a patient on the ventilator who was de-saturating. I was being yelled at by the respiratory techs while they asked me what I wanted to do. I was speechless and helpless partly because I had no Idea what to do. You don't learn ventilator management in medical school. I did only what I could do. I got on the phone and scared the living hell out of my senior. I called him and basically almost "cried" to him on the phone....lol. He was in the middle of doing 2 admissions and he came 5 minutes later running. I remember driving home that day scared as hell. I was in a state of quiet shock.

15. I remember the first time I sat down and saw the seniors sign out to each other in the Unit. They ran down about 20 patients in about 5 minutes. Me and the interns were looking at each other saying. "what da hell?".

14. The first patient I ever saw and examined died about 10 minutes later.

13. I still remember when I was back in south New jersey. Living in a 1 room studio with my wife. (We were doing clinical externships in the area.) I remember that I was sitting on the tablei on my computer and my wife stood up and said "you got a pre-match!" I saidd "huh?.... what? Are you kidding me?" She said "look come over and read it." I went over the read the email and it was true. I couldn't believe. "I told you I had a good interview, but I didn't think it was that good...wow." I was so happy. My wife called her mother who was on the phone crying. I called my mom but she wasn't there, so I called my Dad. In fact I called anyone I could think of.It really was amazing.

12. I remember my first day of residency. I sat in the car around 620am and as I drove out of the parking lot. I remember telling myself. "this is truly amazing. I never thought this day would come.

11. I remember when I first pulled into the hospital. I called my mother and told her "you will not believe where I'm at?" She said "where?" I told her I was in the parking lot of the doctors in the hospital. She was like "wow.."

10. I remember when I first woke up to go to residency and my wife had ironed my pants and shirt. And she had woke up early in the morning and I think she made me breakfast and wished me a good day. She was so happy. I later came home that night and she had made me a cake. She is the greatest.

9. I remember the first time I had to do cpr on a patient. The code ran about 20 minutes. After it was over and I left the room. I stopped and looked back and said "I know her." It was a patient

who I had talked to about God and hope about 72 hours ago. She had metastatic breast cancer. I rememeber talking to her and telling her "you know. Know one understand what you are going through. Only someone that could see inside your heart and see inside your mind can truly understand what you are going through. And I believe that person is God. He can help you. He will not abandon you. He is with you in these heart times. Lean on God he will help you bear with the difficulties of Life." Who would have known that in 72 hours I would be coding her and she was dying.

8. I remember the chief resident standing up in front of the conference room and telling all the first years "Be ready on day 1. Its gonna start and it will be fast." I really didn't understand what that meant until 3 days later.

7. I remember my first night on call. I was handed about 3 sign outs with 40 patients. I was so scared. And right before I left the floor to go to the lounge for a sec. One of the first year must have seen the expression on my face. He was like "you want me to stay with you? You ok? Come lets talk about it. anything you need let me know." He made me feel at ease. He is really a great Guy. I love him so much. I think he later called me back and asked if I wanted some pizza that he would order for me.

6. I remember finishing my first night on call. Another first year asked me how was my first night on call? I turned to him and said "it was like a medical buffet, and everybody was hungry!" LOL. He smiled and laughed.

5. I will never forget How Dr.Devil went on a rampage in the Unit my first week. (http://thankyougodforresidency.blogspot.com/2008/08/across-your-time-in-wards-and-floors.html) I think ever since that I have been very cautious in approaching attendings. I try to give them their space-especially the Angry ones, and latch on to the ones that are open-minded and love to teach. I remember meeting some extremely humble and approachable attending 's after Dr.Devil and telling myself "what planet do these guys come from?"

4. I never forget the day I realized that all the residents were all equal but the only difference was the experiences they had had. There are a lot of smart and hard working residents, but the only difference is the real life medical situations they have dealt with. Those that had experienced a lot of difficult situations were very prepared and good Doctors.

3. I never forgot how good it felt talking and trying to give hope to those that were dying from a terminal disease . I tried to tell them all that they were not alone. They did not have to deal with this pain by themselves. God was with them. He was going to make up all the badness that they have gone through in life.

2. I never forgot the time that all hell broke lose in the program. http://thankyougodforresidency.blogspot.com/2008/12/day-166-this-is-spartaaaaa.html

Ever since that happened. I have tried to mind my own business and try to work with everyone peacefully.

1. Most of all I remember coming home late from work one night. And sitting in my car. I looked up to my second story apartment. My wife was home and the lights were on. I knew that she had gotten home early and was preparing dinner for me. I remember how good it felt realizing that after 13 years of being with her I still wanted to come home. And I was happy to be there.

Overall I have been very blessed by what God has given me. I only hope that I can give to others the grace and goodness that he has shown me. The good things that happen to us in life, happen so we can share them with others. God gives us purpose so that we can use that purpose to change this world we live in. If God has given me residency, it is only so that I can help others a

chieve it to. It is to give those who wer ein my same shoes hope. Hope that their lives have purpose and meaning. God will not abandon you. You are not alone in your struggle to finish your careers. Jesus loves you very much. He will guide your path in this long journey you have started. Don't give up. Lean on God for strength.