Orientation: ACLS, Step 3 nightmare, and a bit of Peace

Ok, first of sorry for not posting a lot of updates. It’s been a pretty hectic week. I had a lot of things this week. We had the orientation and also had to get certified in ACLS. It wasn’t your typical acls for us, because one of the program heads was taking the course with us!!!! Can u believe that? He was one of the doctors that gave interviews to some of us. SO we were under a lot pressure not to fail !! You should have seen our group in the course. Its like we had a final coming up. We stayed up studying late at night the ACLS course manual and videos. We even stayed longer at the ACLS center trying to get the megacode right. The test was 25 questions and luckily was easy. (THANK GOD)

Anyways I spend the whole week filling out paper work . Going to meetings. Getting the health insurance details worked out. We even had a residency meet and greet for our families. A lot of the new residents. Bought their families. I brought my wife. It was a good meeting I introduced my wife to some of the program heads and the chief residents. Overall was a good meeting. We met all the spouses of the new residents. I was happy I brought my wife, because she is also an IMG and it was good for her to meet the department heads. They even asked her if she had ECFMG certificate yet, so that they can interview her, which must have been really nice to her. A lot of programs these days do that. They will accommodate couples in residency. And hopefully she will get that. She is hard working and good with people. I’m sure a lot of people think that it might be a but un-fair. I was speaking to one of the other residents about this, but the reality is that a lot of programs are swamped with application 2000-3000 applicants, and its hard to find the right person for the program. I get a sense that these programs will take a chance with someone that they might know, than someone that is not familiar with them. I remember interviewing in a program in texas. And the doctor interview was surprised that I even applied their, because the majority of residents there are through hook-ups or friends and family members of the residents of the program. So a lot of residency programs keep it in the family. That’s just the nature of the system. That’s the way it works.

Also, had a step 3 NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took the exam after 5 months of studying and on the second day the ELECTRICITY WENT OUT !!!!!! The computers just shut off. It came back an hour later. And as I began the block of questions, it went out AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! And I lost the entire 2^nd day of the exam. I couldn’t believe it. I was shocked. I had planned to take step 3 before residency, so that I wouldn’t have to worry about it, but it seems like I’m going to have to take it again. I called the usmle board and they said I can retake it. But being that I’m not even going to have the time, I’m just going to have to retake it again soon. Maybe I might take it in January.

I called the board and they said that they would grade me on the blocks that I had completed, but in the end I still needed the rest of the exam, so they offered me a retake.

Let me tell you. I was in a deep deep anguish. Everything that I had been planning was down the tube. I couldn’t even sleep at night, I was so stressed. I have never failed any of my boards, but it felt like a failed. I understood a little more of what some people that fail experience. It’s painful. It hurts deep inside. You feel like a failure. Truly something I would not wish on anyone. Not knowing what to do about my stress I decided to take up this matter in prayer. When I got out of orientation on Friday, I went to the park by my apartment, and sat in my car in the parking lot alone. Trying to pray and meditate on the situation. I even stopped in Barnes and nobles and picked up a book called “You can if you think you can” by Vincent Peale. It’s basically a positive thinking book, but it’s also God centered. Reading the first chapter of the book really helped me. Basically the chapter said “ITS ALWAYS TO Soon to QUIT” and “Don’t give up !!” and “NEVER TALK DEFEAT” . Sometimes we have to fight for what we want. We cannot give up. Certain things are worth fighting for, and being a doctor is one of them. WE need to fight on. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. That, and also the idea that you are NOT ALONE. God is with us to carry us through these tough times. Lean on God. Lean on Jesus. He is their to give us strength in our weakness. When I doubt the future or difficulties all I have to do is look at myself in the mirror and look where I am. I have residency. It is a miracle. A true miracle. I’m living my answered prayer. I don’t need to doubt God. If there is trouble up ahead, then let it come!! MY God is there to carry me.

Although life has its happy moments and sunny days, it also has days filled with storms and stressful situations. But when the tough times come, who do u turn to? Where do u go? When a car needs repairs, it goes to the car shop. When your heart is broken, where do u go? Who do u turn too? Even though you are surrounded by people, doesn’t life seem lonely sometimes? Who do you turn to when know one around you understands what your going through? May I suggest Jesus. (psalms 23) IN GOD you will find peace for your soul. In God is where I find my rest. You can go ahead and try other things to try to repair the pain you feel in your heart, but when you have tried everything you can and it still doesn’t work. I suggest you get on your knees and open your heart to jesus. You call on his name. And you will find rest in your heart.

I start residency in 48 hours. There will be long hours and frustration and pain. BUT I say, Let it come. LET IT COME ! My God is their for me. And if life’s troubles forces me to knees, then I say let it come. There is no better place to be then on your knees talking and walking with God. I’m ready.

LETS DO THIS !!!!

GOD IS WITH ME !!!!!

God be with You

Dr. mike