Day 964: Last Day of Residency !!
It has been a long time since I wrote in the blog, and I apologize for that. I meant to every day, but it was hard for me. In fact as I write this down its 24 hours since I finished my residency. Normally most residents finish July 1st, but because of some events over the year, I had to make up some lost day and clinic hours. I know that many of you have been following my journey throughout the years and from the bottom of my heart I appreciate your patience. I hope the time I spent here sharing my experiences and views helped lift you up from time to time.
Many things have changed throughout my final year in residency. I lot of trying times and heart ache. One was the farewell of all my the seniors and residents I spent my first two years with. I put my heart out on the line with many of them, and to see them go was very difficult. Also, my father passed away a few months ago. But not all has been sober. I have a new baby boy in my Life !! He was born in October 2011. He is the most wonderful thing I've ever seen.
I'll try to recall some experiences of my third year with many of you. Today I'm still trying to get use to the fact that I finished my residency. I wish that I would enjoy it more, but the stress of starting to work has come fast. In fact, the final 6 months of this year, I have spent trying to get my papers and license in order. There is this process called FCVS, in which you hand in all your paper work and medical school records and they keep it in their database throughout your life, so as to avoid having to ask your old medical school for records, however the process takes an extreme amount of time, if your an IMG. I studied overseas, so my school took months and months to send the paper work. In fact, I still haven't received all my paper work. Instead, I chose to apply directly to the state that I will be staying in: NJ !!
Its difficult to explain how I feel, right now. Its like a marathoner at the end of a long race. There is a sense of personal satisfaction, but also a deep sense of tiredness. You are trying to soak in the moment, and at the same time you just want to sleep for a week. But then again you can't, because you are soon starting a "real" job.
I've decided to work as a Hospitalist the coming year or two. I won't give all the reasons behind my decision now, but it seems to be a growing field in medicine. It offers you a decent salary and also time to spend off to enjoy other things. The trend seems to be working 7 days on and 7 days off. The salary ranges anywhere from $150,000-220,000 with or without bonuses. There are a lot of factors that go into the salary that ill talk about as time goes by. (maybe it might help those of you who are in your last year) Looking for work was a bit of a surprise, and I'll share my experiences. I went on many interviews and I would say that 95% of them were positive, and practically every place I interviewed offered me the position. I'm not sure that says a lot about my qualifications, as it says for the shortage of Hospitalist that are desperately needed in the hospitals. The majority of my class mates became hospitalist and decided to practice out of the state. Only 1 or 2 were interested in fellowships. I think the majority of us just wanted to start working and move on with life.
My last day at the hospital was also one of the saddest. I went to the resident lounge to see it for the last time. I went to open my locker and I found that it had already been replaced with someones name (new 1st year). I was upset for a few seconds, until I realized that its a part of life. I still remember my first day in the resident lounge. I saw three of the graduating senior residents emptying there locker. they seemed in a bit of a hurry and not extremely happy, but then again I was so happy and excited that I didn't dwell on their demeanor much.
Tomorrow I'm heading over to my new hospital. I have to sign bank papers and insurance papers. And I also need a physical and PPD testing etc...
Overall its a new start and new beginning in my life. I wish I could enjoy that it was the last day of residency, but there is a new start and a new beginning coming.
However, my main reason for coming here to write a blog was to give thanks to the person that has helped me the most: God and the people he placed in my life to get me to this point. If not for God there would be no me, and there wouldn't be days like today. I think he placed many people in my walk of life that helped me to get to this point and to give praise to him.
No matter what happens in my life: the heart ached, the triumphs or the let downs, God's goodness has been one constant in my life. I have always felt the loving hand of God around me. A father and a positive friend. Always there to help me and guide me through the toughest times in life. I felt that I neeeded to share my experiences with trying to get residency; with trying to do what seems impossible for many of you: getting residency in the states. I feel that it was truly a miracle of God, and no one will ever take that away from me. I hope in this long journey that I have at least helped one person to feel good about themselves. My only wish was to give someone who reads this hope where there is no hope. To give someone struggling to get residency and finish there career a bit of sun light in the darkness that they might have experienced. I'm not smarter of better than any of you. Whatever blessing nad luck came my way, it was meant for the greater good. It was for a higher purpose. If my measly example can give one of you a ray of hope and can help those struggling with challenges, then every pain that I have felt in life is worth it.
GOd has freely Given, now I only wish to freely give to whoever I can.
Maybe you stumbled along this blog now or before, and you have been struggling to get residency. You feel despair. Your unsure of the future and all you see is darkness and fear. Well, I'm here to tell you to NOT GIVE UP. There is light at the end of the tunnel or there is calmness at the end of the storm. Sometimes that storm last a long time, and many of you have spent months and years in it, but there is a solution and there is a comfort. There are people out there that understand what your going through. I understand the despair and disappointment. And I would tell you friend to take heart. And when you feel alone or that there is no one that understand you, be of good cheer. God is there for you. Jesus and his holy spirit is there to comfort you. Tonight, alone in your room as you lay on your bed or as you drive to work or to the library, open your heart to God. Talk to him as you would a friend, and he will comfort you in your struggle.
Many years ago during a world war, a prisoner was dragged by a security guard to the bathrooms and was throne on the floor of toilets and was told to clean them with his bear hands. As this prisoner lay there humiliated and forced to do the unthinkable, the guard mockingly asked him "where is your God?" The prisoner from the floor looked up to him and said "He is Here with me."
And so in your room now where you read this. In your despair for residency and trying to accomplish the things you most want in life, GOD and Jesus is there with you. Its a very strange thing to explain, But he is there with you. We don't know why bad things happen to good people, but rest assured God is there with you. Even though you walk through the shadows of heart ache and death in this world he is there with you. Crying with you..... (psalms 23)
God Bless all of you...... May God give you peace and happiness in your life.
Don't Give up !! You can DO it !! Believe in Yourself . Work as Hard as you can, and let the chips land where they may...
Love
Dr.Mike
If God had mercy on my life, why would he not do the same for you?
Some messages of Hope for you: