Day Day 399 life lessons from Valentino

The Italian designer Valentino was once asked "what do women want?" Valentino smiled and said "Its simple. They want to be beautiful."

I'm sure more than half the men in the world would not know how to answer this question. Its a question that some have tried to explain in books and books across the centuries...lol Its surprising the answers that you learn about when asked the right question. I think we should all take moments of our lives to answer some of life's "simple" questions.

If someone was to ask you today "what do you want?" what would your response be? Being that this is a blog mostly read by inspiring doctors and those struggling to match, it might not be surprising if you answered "I want to be a doctor, I want to get residency" But I think the question can go a bit deeper than that. I think deep down inside what we all want is to be happy-It is possibly the single reason as to why you are doing what you are doing. Studying and trying to be a doctor and trying to get residency is your goal and it is what you feel will make you happy. Even though I would partially agree with this, I would say that happiness goes beyond residency, and goes beyond wanting to be a doctor. I think true happiness and long lasting happiness goes beyond what you dedicate your life too. I was reading a book called life lessons by Elizabeth Ross, and in that book she talks about the single most important desire of those that are in their final hours of life. And the thing they most cling to. The thing they most want and appreciate is Love. AT the end of it all. At the end of our working days and at the end of retirement. When you look back at your life, and you look back to see what was really important in life, it was the relationships you formed with others. It was the special bonds you had. It was the special moments you spent with the persons you loved most in this world. Certain moments in life are defined by the people you choose to spend your life with.

You might feel that you have failed in your quest called life. You have struggled year after year trying to get residency only to have your hopes and dreams crushed by a single email from eras stating "You did not match." 4 or 5 words that have changed your life in more ways than one. Even now while you read this you are somewhere in a hospital doing an observationship, or your in a university or office trying to do clinical work or doing research. you have spent countless hours on forums trying to learn about what more you can do to better your situation. THe countless questions from family members that mean well, but do not simply understand what you are going through. Friends and family members that don't see your broken heart. They don't see the countless hours you have spent crying at the thought of your future. But I'm here to tell you that the purpose in life is bigger than what we sometimes imagine it to be. Maybe happiness can be found in the simpler things that surround you. Although what you do in life is important, it doesn't define who you are as a person. The meaning of life is more deeper that you think. What is truly important and special in life is closer than you have ever imagined. The more hours I have spent in my residency (almost 100 hours a week) the more I long to go home and spent time with the person I love the most in this world-my wife. I'm not the only one that feels this way (residents in my program all enjoy their time out of the hospital).

The more time you are around death and people that die, the more you understand how fragile and short life could be. And although you want to help others and make a difference in the lives of those around you, you also need to find special time for you to always get the most out of life. Continue to work around for the things you want out of life, but don't forget the most important thing-love. It is what can bring happiness to your life. Its is what many of us our truly searching for. Love can give happiness and it helps you to bear the struggles of life. You will find strength to carry the burdens of this life in the people that surround you. It is found in the time you spend with your loved ones. It is found with the time you spend with your friends. Don't let the true meaning of life pass you by.

But what if you are alone in this world? What if you are someone that doesn't have a family or someone that has been rejected by others and you feel abandoned by someone you once loved. What if you are someone that is "alone". Maybe your someone that searches through their cell phones, and looks through the list of friends without having someone you can truly talk to. No one that can understand you. I would tell you that your not alone my friend.

The heart and pain you feel in your heart. The hours spent in darkness. The hours you have spent in hopelessness. And the feelings that no one understands you. All of these emotions has maybe let you to believe that you can't take it anymore. The struggle to match and ge residency is too much to bear. Your heart is broken. You have no one to go to. I would tell you that there is someone you can go to. In fact, only someone that could see inside your heart. Only someone that can see your thoughts and see your emotions can truly understand what you are going through. In fact it would have to be a person with supernatural abilities and almighty powerful to be able to do that. And I believe that person is God. God can help you in your pain. Life can be a trauma sometimes, and it can be unbearable at times. But don't lose hope. God can help you. He can give you the strength you need to deal with the burdens of life. With the struggles that make u cry.

A story is told of a boy a couple of years back that decided that he wanted to have a puppy. he started to have a paper route in his community so that he can save enough money to purchase a puppy. One day on his way to the paper route. He found a sign in front of a farm that read "Puppies for sale $25" The boy was ecstatic and went to the farmer to inquire about the puppies. As the boy spoke to the farmer, the farmer turned around and whistled the puppies to come out. The boy lay on the ground and was greeted by three small cute puppies that played and licked his face. As a few minutes pass the boy noticed that there was one more puppy walking out of the barn The puppy was very fragile and limping. He could barely walk. The boy asked the farmer "who is that?" To which the farmer responded "that is the run of the litter. Today I'm going to take him to the back of the yarn and shoot him. he is a burden to every one. Can barely walk. he would have to be carried every where he goes. He is useless." TO which the boy enthusiastically said "I want the puppy!" The farmer said "that one? you sure? nobody wants that one." The boy at this point stood up and walked towards the farmer. He was limping. HE got closed to the farmer and lifted up his pants on his bad leg to chow wooden stints he had. He had been diagnosed with polio as a child and was handicapped. The boy turned to the farmer and said "He is gonna need someone that understands. And I understand."

My friend God understands you. Jesus loves you. God loves you. God can help you bear with life. He can heal your heart. Search for God and he will find you. he will not abandon you. You can dial God anytime and anywhere by deep and honest prayer. Talk to God as if you were talking to a friend. In the darkness of your room where ever you are. In the middle of a class room in your mind. In the middle of the day. where ever you are reading this. take a moment to pray to GOd and talk to him as a friend. Open you heart. Ask him to help you bear with these tough timse. Help him to help you see the goodness life has to offer. Your troubles might not go away, but God can help you to bear them. The difficulties and Bad things that happen to us have no explanations sometimes. Countless time people try to blame GOd for all that happens in this world. The bad things that have happened to you should not have happened. And their is no explanation for now of why they did. Life is unfair sometimes. God never promised that we would not have problems, but what he has promised IS Help. HE has promised to give you his peace. You are not alone. You don't have to tread life alone. You are loved. You are wanted. Don't give up. GOd is a friend. Yours. God can bring light in your darkness. You don't have to tread life alone and in fear. God will guide you through the storms. God will cry with you. He will not abandon you.

Good luck in these years match. Keep doing everything you can. What you do in life Doesnt define you. The people that surround you in life is what defines your life. True meaning in life is found in loving God and loving those around you. When you need strength and meaning in life remember these two things.

God bless

Dr.Mike

Day 381 In trouble with the Program Director

It was around 7:40 in the morning and we had just finished sign out when the program director approached me and said "I need to talk to you." I wasn't sure what I had done, but I was a bit nervous. I told her "Am I in trouble?" She smiled and said "no." We walked into her office and she closed the door and said "what is going on with Dr.ONC ? When we do rounds it seems like he is never prepared. Why is it that you know more about the patient than he does. Also...He is also always joking around, its like he is not taking it seriously. I wanted to tell you because you have a way with people and I wanted you to tell him to be a bit more serious and to talk to him about it." I told her "I have spoken to him about it. he is a great guy. We are trying to work with him, to take things more seriously. A lot of the interns are being spoiled by us, but we are trying to get them to learn to be more independent and confident." It was a short conversation and I left her office in search of Dr.ONC.

He was in one of the floors and in a patients room when I went up to him and told him "Listen I have to talk to you its important" He saw the look on my face and knew that it was serious. We went into a private room in the floor. I sat down and told him "I wanted to talk to you because I wanted you to know what was going on. Someone in the top office called me in to talk to you about certain things. They just wanted me to talk to you about how you are with the patients. Remember that you are in care of about 10 patients daily, but the way our attendings know how we are with patients is during the times when we round on our patients and how we manage them." At this point he cut me off and said "you know then I'm leaving that's it. If they don't like the way I am, then I'm leaving." I told him, "hold on, its not like that. Remember, part of this is about adapting to people and situations. Nobody knows how to be a resident in 4 weeks. I had the same issues when I started. I didn't know how to do a lot of things, but in time I learned, and so will you. And this will happen anyplace you go. Wherever you go , you will have to adapt to people and situations. Its about adjusting. You are a good resident. We tell you these things to help you, not to harm you.This is good advice, its not judgmental." He kind of relaxed a little bit. He seemed a bit upset. I told him "when it comes to the teaching patients just remember to always have a plan. always have an idea about what we are doing for this patient. When the attending comes to round tell him what is today's plan and what we are going to do." He shook he head and said ok, but I think he was still hurt.

I tried to tell him in a nice way of what was told to me. The program director is not the first person that has told me about him. There have been other residents complaining about him. they say that he fools around a lot. He ask a lot of stupid questions and comments. I think its pretty judgmental of some residents, but then again,its always been like that. A lot of times you have to be more serious and hold back the stupid questions you might have, and ask a person privately that you trust will not make fun of you. Some residents have told me that they remind them of the resident that was kicked out before.(http://thankyougodforresidency.blogspot.com/2009/04/day-resident-with-usmle-scores-98-99.html) I don't Think Dr.Onc is on the same level as the other intern that got kicked out. I'm going to be working with him closely. I'll let you guys know what happens.

On the other hand, the other interns are coming along. Some of them are still trying to adapt and get use to the system. We have been criticized by some of the 3rd years, because we are doing a lot of the admissions for them. A lot of times we do all the orders and they are simply just doing the physical and none of the planning. I started to give the interns more time by themselves during the admissions. I'm letting them talk to the patients by themselves and get the history and physical. Overall its been a good rotation. I'm having a lot of fun. I will let you guys know what happens.

God bless

Dr.Mike